Commissioner Adam Silver says he’s considering tape-delayed telecasts when NBA games resume so that any inappropriate words — bound to be picked up by courtside microphones now that there will be no crowd noise from the stands to muffle them — can be dubbed out.
Or, he could just go with the flow, have game cards printed up and let the folks watching at home play Curse Word Bingo.
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Just say neigh
The University of Massachusetts Dartmouth cut women’s equestrian and seven other varsity programs in a cost-cutting move.
Six horses immediately jumped into the transfer portal.
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Show of hands
Sunday’s NASCAR race at Indianapolis Motor Speedway: the Big Machine Hand Sanitizer 400.
Gentlemen, start your squirt bottles!
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Those were the days
The Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y., shuttered by COVID-19, reopened June 26.
There wasn’t a dry eye in sight at the new exhibit — a tribute to spitting, butt-slapping and other nostalgic activities wiped out by the coronavirus.
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Silent treatment
Here’s one sports cliche you might not be hearing for a while: “We just wanted to take the crowd out of the game.”
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Soccer to ’em
Alaska Airlines announced it will start issuing in-flight yellow cards to passengers who:
a) refuse to wear face masks
b) flop when the beverage cart bumps into their knee
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Just had to ask
So, did Bobby Bonilla — who hasn’t played since 2001 — get his usual $1.2 million payment on July 1, or did the Mets try to prorate it down to 60 games?
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Mistake in the Lake
The Arizona Cardinals waived rookie receiver Jermiah Braswell after he drove a Camaro into Lake Erie and was cited for DUI.
Coincidence? The scene of the incident was Put-in-Bay, Ohio.
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Football 101
It’s not a good sign when your favorite college football team boasts two-deeps for offense, defense and COVID-19.
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Relish the thought
Gamblers in New Jersey, Colorado and New Hampshire were able to legally place bets on the July 4 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.
So what’s the over-under on post-contest Tums consumed?
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Not going viral
MLB says it can’t release names of players stricken with COVID-19.
In the NHL, expect raised eyebrows every time there’s a new “upper-body injury.”
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Roll the tape
Headline on an ESPN.com video: “Russell Wilson works on evading mobile dummies.”
(Readers: Insert your own punchline here.)
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No, not that
The NFL is reportedly jettisoning the first and fourth weeks off this year’s schedule of preseason games.
“We’re beyond outraged,” said absolutely no one.
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The write stuff
— From NFL Memes on Facebook, on QB Nick Foles getting a $24 million contract — $21 million of it guaranteed — from the Bears: “Meanwhile, the Patriots just signed Cam Newton for less than he was making at Auburn.”
— Headline at Fark.com: “Put me in, coach, I’m ready to play 2.0.”
— Jeff Sullivan, Tampa Bay Rays front-office analyst, via Twitter: “Pretty obvious by now that 2020 is tanking for a better draft pick.”
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Crimson, as in red
The Washington State athletic department’s operating deficit is expected to hit $93.5 million at the end of this fiscal year and could top $100 million by 2022.
To steal a page from the Wazzu cheerleaders: Hold that line!
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At least it was a clean cut
Cubs lefty Jose Quintana needed surgery to repair nerve damage in his pitching thumb after a dishwashing accident.
For once it didn’t pay to work the edges of the plate.
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Talking the talk
— Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Florida requiring travelers from New York, New Jersey and Connecticut to quarantine for 14 days: “This would kind of be like the Houston Astros making a video telling the rest of baseball not to cheat.”
— Former Times sportswriter Bud Withers, via Twitter, on Juan Marichal and Warren Spahn both pitching into the 16th inning of a 1-0 duel in 1963: “Wait, who were the openers?”
— Bob Molinaro in the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on reports the NFL plans to make fans sign a liability waiver to attend games this seasons: “On any given Sunday … you might go home with coronavirus.”
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Attention Cal, Baylor
Security cameras spotted a bear on the University of Kentucky campus.
It’s even money as to who gets to it first — state wildlife officials or recruiters for the football team.
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We’ll drink to that
Low to moderate alcohol consumption each day might make for better learning, reasoning and other brain skills in middle-aged adults, according to a recent study.
In other words, no tailgating NFL fans were a part of that test group.
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Quote marks
— Player agent Gerry Johannson, to the Edmonton Journal, on the pandemic putting NHL players at a disadvantage in free agency: “It’s like musical chairs. There are 100 players and only 75 chairs.”
— Jeff Passan of ESPN.com, with a sure sign baseball is back: “We’ve got a trade — and a player to be named later!”
— Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on Vince Carter, retiring after 22 NBA seasons at age 43: “Surprising analysts who thought he’d retired around 2012.”
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