LEXINGTON, Ky. — We knew the internet was thirsty for Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear. Now it’s sending its best trade proposals to nab him.
Like NBA teams that feel like they’re one superstar trade away from being a contender, envious citizens from around the country have assembled what they believe to be their state’s best offers for a mythical “trade” to bring Beshear to their state.
Beshear, a Democrat who’s serving his first term after defeating Republican incumbent Matt Bevin in November, has won many over — from in and outside the commonwealth and those in and outside his political party — with his calm and direct delivery during his daily news conferences regarding the COVID-19 pandemic. The phenomenon was the subject of an NPR story Wednesday.
“Florida will offer you your very own space shuttle from Cape Canaveral,” Amanda Cox posted in the Facebook group “andy beshear memes for social distancing teens,” which had more than 120,000 members as of Wednesday morning. “The entire Miami Heat franchise. Mickey Mouse himself. Your very own mansion in the Keys with an orchard of orange trees. The actual f—ing sun. And just for kickers, I’ll throw in my first born. I’m so, sacrifices must be made … Oh, and you can have Tom Brady for free.”
Justin Krumplitsch from Wisconsin might have brought the best package for Kentucky sports fans.
“The delegation from Wisconsin offers: All dairy farms (unlimited cheese curds), breweries (all the Spotted Cow you can drink), Packers, Brewers, Bucks and will acknowledge the 2015 Final Four never happened,” wrote Krumplitsch.
Emily Conley, also on Facebook, offered the Christian Laettner game. “State of North Carolina offers to vacate the ’92 Duke win to Kentucky in exchange (for) Governor Andy.”
Mississippi’s willing to share.
“Mississippi would like to offer lifetime protection with the best rednecks we got, Morgan Freeman and the recipe for REAL sweet tea,” wrote Amanda Marie Cook. “We don’t wanna take him from y’all. We just want to be part of Kentucky as well. #merger”
Other countries are getting into the discussion too.
“While we still don’t understand your whole ‘state’ thing,” Sebrina Scott wrote, “England would like to offer Boris, Big Ben, our Channel, and we’ll throw in Scotland to trade for Andy. Her majesty approves this offer and would like to add parliament if you’ll consider. Tea is negotiable.”
Some people are willing to give up Beshear only on the condition that he becomes president of the United States. Others seem unwilling to part with him no matter the offer — one Etsy shop, GoatLadyGifts, has even made a “Stop Trying to Bribe Us” shirt.
———
©2020 Lexington Herald-Leader (Lexington, Ky.)
Visit the Lexington Herald-Leader (Lexington, Ky.) at www.kentucky.com
Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.