There are moments every day when he feels guilty.
The world has stopped. There are people sick and dying. Some hospitals, the environment in which his wife made her profession, are overcrowded. His job, while safe, sits in idle. And yet, the coronavirus pandemic has, well, presented Rangers manager Chris Woodward with an opportunity.
Maybe for the first time as a father, he’s had more time to give to his family than his job. He’s not alone. Throughout baseball, amid all the uncertainty of when, or if, the season will start, what it might look like and how much everybody stands to lose financially, it’s a common theme.
Sunday will be a month since MLB, in the wake of NBA star Rudy Gobert testing positive for COVID-19, stopped exhibition games. Monday will mark four weeks since camps were ordered closed and the Rangers hastily boarded a charter for Dallas to wait out the uncertain storm.
When not Zoom conferencing with the rest of the front office, their counterparts or their players, GM Jon Daniels and Woodward — both fathers of three — are reconnecting with their families in a way never previously afforded to them. It brings them gratitude. And guilt.
“I feel (guilt) every day,” Woodward said Friday. “It’s a common thing. Erin (his wife) and I have talked about it. You have to have a perspective for what’s going on in the world. You can get overwhelmed with it. And that’s OK. It’s healthy to feel empathetic and to care. You want to do everything you can to help. But we can also take advantage of what is right in front of us. If we don’t, we will regret that in hindsight. So, we try to balance it every day. Some days, we embrace the guilt.”
Said Daniels: “This has been very grounding. It forces you to take stock and reflection of things. I realize how fortunate I am. I enjoy being able to spend time with my family. I have a great job that I really enjoy and work with a group of people that inspire me. I like to think I’ve always been aware, but I feel like I’m more keenly aware of that now.”
There have been some real moments, too. The Woodwards have had long discussions about whether Erin, a trauma nurse who recently finished her last contract, would go back to work if asked. She would, but so far, Phoenix-area hospitals have not been overrun.
Daniels has had some difficult conversations with his father, Mark, who has found a second calling in his 60s as a chaplain at a children’s hospital near his home in Queens in New York. As admirable as his father’s passion is, Daniels is still concerned he’s exposing himself to too much risk.
His kids overheard one of those conversations. Daniels had to explain his feelings.
“That’s about as heavy as it has gotten,” Daniels said.
Mostly, though, it’s been about reminding Lincoln, 13, and daughters Harper, 11, and Charlotte, 8, that they have been exceptionally fortunate and to instill in them a desire to give back to others. Both Daniels and Woodward helped provide more than 1,000 meals for first responders and healthcare workers last month, among other donations.
Yeah, they’ve chipped in on the home schooling, too, though both credit their wives, Erin Woodward and Robyn Daniels, for taking on the bulk of the work.
As for the dads, Daniels says he’s much better at teaching recess, but has tried to help out on some geometry.
“I’m confident, if I dig into it I’d figure it out, but Charlotte moved on pretty quickly,” Daniels said. “She was done with me.”
Woodward, used to asking for advanced scouting reports on the likes of Alex Bregman and Mike Trout, asked his sons Mason, 13, and Grady, 11, to prepare reports on Hall of Famer Al Kaline and musician Bill Withers, who died in the last week.
“They are supposed to be doing that,” he said. “I’m not sure they are doing a great job of it. But I’m ready to help out. I love math; I can’t wait for them to ask me a question. I love science. I’m kind of weird.”
And there are other lessons, too. Like one night this week, the Woodwards actually sat down and played a full Scrabble game as a family. The lesson had nothing to do with vocabulary.
“Sophie (his daughter) left me a couple of triple-word scores,” Woodward said. “You leave me that alley-oop, there is no chance I’m not going to dunk it. It was a big deal to actually beat Erin. I’m kind of putting off the next game because of it; I want to hold on to that title as long as possible.”
It all comes down to this: Getting to parent — and partner — more as a full-time presence. In every way.
“There are a lot of stresses out there right now, starting with the public health crisis,” Daniels said. “But for the kids, they hear partial stories. Or they can’t see their friends. And we’re just not going to add to that stress right now. We are trying to do everything we can for them. I’m getting to spend more time with them than ever before and I really enjoy that.
“And maybe the biggest shock,” he adds, “is they seem to enjoy it, too.”
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