Rays minor-league pitcher Blake Bivens spoke publicly Sunday for the first time about the tragic killing of his wife, 14-month-old son and mother-in-law in August.
Bivens was speaking at the River Church in Danville, Va., in a session broadcast on Facebook, sharing his memories of that day, how he has come to understand what happened and his thoughts going forward. His brother-in-law was charged with the murders.
Bivens, with the Double-A Montgomery team in Chattanooga, Tenn., that day, said he felt something was amiss when he woke up and didn’t have his usual text messages from his wife, Emily, and more so when he saw something on Facebook about his brother-in-law, Matthew Bernard. He was unable to reach any other family members to get details and notified the Rays, who quickly arranged for flights home to Virginia.
“That morning for me, it was complete chaos in my mind,” he said.
He made it to the airport, still unable to reach any family members and went searching for information on social media.
“First headline I see is two females and a small child were gone,” he said. “I immediately knew that was them. I found out my family was gone over a Facebook headline. I just immediately began to scream in the middle of the airport. Obviously people were concerned, looking at me funny.”
A minute or two later, Montgomery manager Morgan Ensberg called Bivens and said he was on the way to the airport to fly home with him. Two other Rays officials boarded flights to meet them in Charlotte, which Bivens said was a huge help as he got more information about what happened to Emily, son Cullen and mother-in-law Joan Bernard.
“It could have been a whole lot worse for me if I didn’t have anyone there,” Bivens said.
The time on the flights, first to Charlotte and then home, felt incredibly slow.
“The only thing I really remember from the whole plane ride is I just went through periods, I just stared at the back of the seat the whole time, trying to get my mind to wrap around what I’m hearing,” he said. “It’s almost kind of like, ‘This isn’t really happening.’ I was more in a state of shock. I would go through periods of shaking. Then I would start to lose it a little bit and break down a cry. It was kind of like a circle. The plane rides just seemed like they took forever.”
By the time Bivens got to his house, there was a large group of family gathered.
“We hugged and we just cried for 30 minutes,” he said. “It was an experience, it’s unbelievable how much I can vividly remember from the day. And it’s kind of unbelievable to see how far things have come from that day also.”
Bivens said his faith is what helped him through the experience.
“I think the greatest comfort for me has been knowing without a shadow of a doubt where my family is,” he said. “I know they’re in the arms of Jesus and they’re waiting for me to be there with them. Knowing that in my heart has been the greatest comfort to us. It’s been amazing how the Lord has helped and gave us peace through everything.”
Bivens spent the rest of the season at home, but pitched in Australia during the winter and had reported to spring training with plans to pitch in 2020.
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