Gen Z is on the dating scene, and according to the latest study from Tinder, they’re changing the game.
In the popular dating app’s new Future of Dating Report 2023, 69% of Gen Z respondents feel they are putting their own spin on conventional dating standards. More than half of millennial respondents agree, reporting that they feel dating is healthier for 18-to-25-year-olds now than it was when they were that age.
So what’s the change? According to Tinder, it’s all about authenticity: honestly laying out what they need and what they expect from a partner or relationship.
That also means daters are putting themselves and their mental health first. According to the Tinder report, 80% of 18-to-25-year-old respondents say self-care is their top priority when dating, and 79% want prospective partners to prioritize taking care of themselves as well.
“Even more interesting, close to 75% of young singles say they find a match more attractive if they are open to working on their mental well-being,” the report states, adding that Gen Z daters are “fine to leave any situation if that means being true to themselves.”
Is this selfish, or is it the foundation of a healthy relationship?
If you ask me, being a little self-interested is necessary when you’re starting to explore a partnership. You have to be 100% honest with both your partner (about what you’re looking for, what you expect from them, what your dealbreakers are, to name just a few things) as well as yourself. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for an issue down the road.
If you told your partner you were willing to relocate but you are actually quite happy with where you live, that miscommunication could pose a problem when your partner finds a job in a different city and is then surprised to hear you don’t want to make the move. Being willing to walk away from a situation that doesn’t fit your needs is sometimes necessary, and it’s interesting to hear that Gen Z is not staying in relationships when it doesn’t suit them any longer.
It also means fewer dating games that many are used to. According to the report: “18–to-25-year-olds are 32% less likely to ghost someone than those over 33. Additionally, 77% of Tinder members reply to a match within 30 minutes, 40% respond within five minutes and over a third reply immediately. This is further reinforced when comparing how millennials viewed dating 10 years ago: Three in four 33-to-38 year olds (73%) agreed that dating games — like playing hard to get, giving mixed signals, playing the field — were all accepted as ‘normal’ when they were between 18 and 25 years old.”
Gen Z daters are clearly valuing their time — and also respecting that of the people they’re communicating with. If they don’t see a relationship panning out, they make that clear — and take away the guessing games.
I always encourage my clients to let a person know when they don’t see the relationship going anywhere with a kind message letting them down easy. People aren’t always happy to get that message, but it’s better than the alternative of guessing, “Do they not want to see me anymore, or are they just busy this week?”
Due to their no-nonsense attitude to dating, Tinder’s Global Relationship Insights Expert Paul Brunson says, “Gen Z will have the most successful marriages yet. Why? Because they’re investing in emotional well-being and clear communication.”
I think we can all take a few notes from the youngest generation of daters: Put yourself and your mental well-being first (which will set you up for a meaningful relationship), be willing to walk away from a situation that doesn’t fit your needs (or face the consequences down the road), and be clear in your communication (because everyone deserves that respect and common courtesy).